March 2012
faggoat:
when i die, i want to be turned into glitter so you can never get rid of me
February 2012
catnus:
Tomorrow is March.
Tomorrow.
Is.
March.
step one: take out homework
step two: reward self with two hours of internet for getting that far
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
imawhorecrux:
in a surprising turn of events, maury is actually the father
6 tags
abwhoretion:
I have a tab open of a picture of Harriett Tubman that I switch to whenever my parents walk in and think I’m doing homework.
I think I’ve been doing it since fifth grade idk why they haven’t caught on I just stare intently at the picture until they leave.
“if we cannot make babies
maybe we can make some time
fuck so pretty you and me...”
– Prince & Sheila E. (Erotic City)
“Sometimes I get a little sad, and I feel like being alone. Then I talk to my cat...”
– James Franco (via papillonpapillon)
THIS IS FOR YOU SASHAAA
butthorn:
I’m going to go to Titanic 3D and bring little spray bottles of water and spray people during the sinking of the ship to help with the 3D experience
my 2012 election slogan
anastasiadreaming:
“vote for obama because everyone else is scary as fuck”
Many actresses/actors (almost all Anglo/white)...
This kind of stuff really bothers me. So much, actually. Just because the majority of actors who win Oscars happen to be white, does not mean they don’t deserve the award; It also definitely doesn’t mean they don’t have culture. Can we please, for once, focus on the person and not their ethnicity or the color of their skin or who their ancestors were. I’m getting so sick of...
